Ep 172: Richard Walsh ~ Grit, Endurance & Finding Peace

Can grit be developed, or is it something you're born with? Join us as we unpack this intriguing question with Richard Walsh, a US Marine champion boxer, steel-sculptor, best-selling author, and coach, whose life story is a testament to the power of perseverance. Richard shares his unique insights on self-imposed suffering in individual sports and the essential role it plays in building resilience. Through his compelling journey, listeners will gain valuable strategies to cultivate grit and embrace challenges as opportunities for growth.

Richard dives deep into the "pain of growth," highlighting parallels between physical and mental training. Much like "time under tension" in the gym builds muscle, enduring life's discomforts can lead to immense personal strength. Richard’s personal anecdotes from intense gym workouts will inspire you to test your limits, embrace a warrior mentality, and discover the benefits of friendly competition. This segment will motivate you to push boundaries and achieve more than you ever thought possible.

Balancing relentless pursuit with moments of rest is crucial for sustainable success. Richard discusses finding harmony between ambition and relaxation, sharing stories of high achievers, including a dedicated son and an ADD entrepreneur who leveraged unconventional methods to reach remarkable heights. The conversation also delves into effective leadership, emphasising the importance of fostering other leaders and leaving a lasting legacy. Concluding with valuable tips on achieving balance through grit and refreshment, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom for anyone looking to lead a well-rounded and fulfilling life.

Where to find Richard:
www.sharpenthespearcoaching.com
Go to Richard's website, contact him, say you listened to this episode and he’ll send you a FREE audio of his book ‘Escape the Owner Prison’.  If you think you don't have time to do this ~ all the more reason to get the book and escape the prison!

Chapters

• 0:02 The Power of Grit
• 10:07 Building Grit and Endurance
• 19:08 Finding Balance in Success and Rest
• 25:15 Achieving Balance Through Grit and Refreshment
• 36:14 Balancing Leadership and Legacy
• 45:39 Gratitude and Future Engagement

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Truth and Transcendence, brought to you by being Space with Catherine Llewellyn. Truth and Transcendence, episode 172, with special guest Richard Walsh. Now, richard is quite a dynamic character. He's a US Marine champion, boxer, best-selling author of Escape the Owner Prison, a steel sculptor, a business coach, mentor and so much more. He has the quality we're going to be talking about today, which is grit. And right off the bat, I'm going to let you know where you can find Richard, which is at sharpenthespearcoachingcom, which is such a fantastic name. It gives some sort of sense of his approach. So I think our theme of grit is really important at the moment, as individuals and businesses are facing significant challenges. I mean, that's always true as humans, but at the moment, in our troubled economies, our volatile markets, no one knows what's going to happen. A certain amount of grit is required just to kind of make things work. So, richard, thank you so much for coming on. Truth and Transcendence.

Speaker 2: 1:33

Well, thank you, Catherine. I'm excited to be here. This is awesome. I appreciate you having me.

Speaker 1: 1:37

Well, I couldn't not. I thought this guy's energy is just so amazing. This guy's energy is just so amazing. Um so um. Richard, would you lead us in by sharing? When did you first connect with this notion of grit? Can you remember your first, um, kind of moment of realizing that this was something that mattered to you?

Speaker 2: 2:00

yes, interesting, katherine, because I, I think you know one thing I know is like, you're actually not like born with grit, right, I think you, I know you can strengthen it, you can develop it. But something in my we'll call it background, right, and I can go on to the childhood stories and stuff. But as I grew, I got older and the things I started doing were all very individual, right. So individual sports. I wasn't like a team sport guy. I like ran cross country, I'm a boxer, I'm a black belt Stuff. That only it's me and one opponent, right, so it's that Two men enter, one man leaves, so it's that kind of stuff. So in that case, well, in boxing, I would like the guy to be asleep when I finish. Okay, I want to put him to sleep, okay, at least momentarily.

Speaker 2: 2:53

But you know, through the Marine Corps, you know I'm in the Marine Corps, I do this and it's all challenging, it's all suffering. So what I learned, like, when I look back now, I mean I've done stuff for a long, you know, decades and decades, but it's always been this, this pursuit of suffering, which is very odd, right, it's like and I don't specifically know what that is, but it just kind of how I, as I matured and grew, I would challenge myself and push myself harder and I really enjoyed the process. Like, take boxing, like you have, you train every day. So I train six days a week. I get in the ring, I spar, I do, you know, I work out hard hours, I run in the morning and then there's the fight. Right, you have the actual fight where you have sanctioned fight and you get to ring in the crowd. I didn't care about the fight, I love the training. I got in, I fought, I'm a champion. I did that, but that wasn't my goal. It's really odd. It's like I want to just suffer daily. It's very odd and I still do it today. I mean, my workouts are extremely hard and I love it. I still hit the bag, I do all this stuff, but I think the suffering aspect I'm just tying that into the grip because I had to persevere, I had to get to the end, I had to complete the challenge, whatever that took.

Speaker 2: 4:11

And in a lot of things you have this self-awareness that there's more in you, that you have to keep going because it's not good enough. And I know some people take that in the negative. I kind take it as a positive, like I can be better and I'll use podcasts as an example and people think I'm strange. My wife thinks I'm odd. I listen to every episode that I've been on and I've been on 75 podcasts in the last few months. Okay, I, I listened to them because I want to learn, I want to be better. Yeah, what did I do? Why did I say that? There's times like maybe I shouldn't say that. Right, so there's things, but that's just kind of my makeup.

Speaker 2: 4:55

And from the grit standpoint, catherine, I think my whole evolution of adulthood and achievement and success and failure has been to push through. So I just I guess no way to put it I'm too dumb to quit. Okay, I just don't know, I'm just not that, but I, that's where the reward is, yeah, and I, I think they've and what's to say, the book itself, grit. I think angela duckworth made this book great research book. The real great people, the great greats. It's because they persevered, it's not because they're smart, it's not because they have money, it's none of that stuff. It's literally that inside drive towards achievement, whatever it takes to stay in the game.

Speaker 2: 5:43

So, I think that's where it is.

Speaker 1: 5:45

Wow, I'm going to ask you to go a little bit more into what you mean by the word suffering, because I think that's a word that people understand in many different ways and experience in many different ways. But when you use that word, it sounds like you've got a very particular meaning for that. You're not talking about cutting yourself and stuff like that, are you? You're talking about something a bit more wholesome than that. So can you explain to us a little bit more about what you mean by suffering?

Speaker 2: 6:18

Yes, and that's good insight. I'm glad you brought that up. Yes, I'm not into self-harm. Okay, that's not it, I'm not Suffering for.

Speaker 2: 6:28

One thing is the number one way to create bond with someone Shared suffering, just like if you're in combat and have brothers in arms. Okay, those are lifetime friendships, right, because of the level of suffering that you've had to endure, right? So when I look at suffering, it's a method, okay. So as we push through suffering, it's like doing hard things Maybe that's an easier way to say it Doing hard things. Okay, because we get really comfortable.

Speaker 2: 7:01

This day and age, you can be as comfortable, especially here in America. Like there's no, no one's uncomfortable, nobody. Okay, whatever level, it's still comfort compared to a lot of other places in the world. Like they, would, you know, love to have the, the littlest bit that we have, right, so we understand that. So there's this, there's this attraction towards discomfort. That's the suffering. You want to go. Well, I could just be here and I'm making good money and I'm helping people, but then what Is this all there is? I think the suffering is giving of yourself, to a point where you might even think you're not going to succeed. You're at that wall, you're climbing the highest wall or swimming the largest body of water, whatever that is. I really think that the completion of that task is the joy or the endorphins, or however you want to put it from a psychological standpoint.

Speaker 1: 8:05

Yeah, you know I'm going to do that extra weight.

Speaker 2: 8:09

Yeah, so I'm, I'm going to. Well, I'm a little competitive, so I'm going to do more than you. Yeah, okay, I'm going to go harder, cause I'm going to get to the other side. People have fallen off. My son is in the Marine Corps now and there's people that drop out all the time 10 guys, 20 guys, this guy they won't go up the hill, they won't get to the top, they won't push through, they won't suffer, they won't carry 120 pounds on their back. So when those people drop, he had to take their weight and carry it. They literally divide the people who drop out. They divide their stuff and other guys have to carry it. That's enduring more suffering. This guy quit. Now. I have to take his load now. I have to do it because I am getting to the top right. So it's, I think, does that kind of explain it.

Speaker 1: 8:56

thank you, that's and that's. Uh, it's interesting because when we use these words, words that only mean that they're a little bit like a signpost to an experience. But the way you just described that there kind of got inside the experience a bit, which I thought was really really helpful. It just reminded me of something there was a class I used to go to called Body Pump, and I don't know if they have it. Do they have it over there?

Speaker 2: 9:22

Yeah, yes.

Speaker 1: 9:23

And you know we all be there in our sort of spandex and you know we were all quite fit and throughout this class we were doing all these different exercises but with weights, often on bars, and every now and again there was an opportunity to put up your weights from last time.

Speaker 1: 9:43

You know, put up your weights from last time, and every time you did that it hurt a bit more, but there was that joy of competing, with yourself growing, and then afterwards everyone would grab a coffee or something. I noticed you put your weights up this time on the back press or whatever. Yeah, I felt ready, good for you. I think I'll try that next time. That whole sort of the words pain of growth came to me as well when you were talking that growth pains, like when people are adolescents and their bones are growing and everything's growing. It's painful, but it's growth You're not breaking, you're growing. And I loved what you said about and you might growth You're not breaking, you're growing.

Speaker 1: 10:26

And I loved what you said about and you might even think you're not going to succeed and that's part of the suffering. I think that's very, very important.

Speaker 2: 10:34

Yeah, I agree. I think that's a very good key right there. It's that will. I make it. That part we call it in the fitness industry time under tension. That's when you build more muscle you're breaking down muscle fiber so it can rebuild, grow, be stronger and better. So when you're adding that weight, that's additional time under tension. Right, there's more tension. Can you hold the weight longer? Can you put up more weight?

Speaker 2: 11:02

When I'm working out in the heavy bag, I'm going very hard. Okay, I've maintained my skills. I mean, people don't talk to me in the gym, that's how hard. I'm a little bit of a savage in the corner, but every time it's like can you get nine rounds, three minute rounds, can you get to 10? Then get on the road and I'm like and I'm just and I'm always fighting an opponent. It's a heavy but it's an opponent. So my mind's out, shadow box for 10 rounds and move and work my footwork. It's against an opponent. So if you saw me, because all these treadmills, like by the track where I'm working out, and there's people that just look I remember my kids were there they go, Dad, like people are videotaping you and stuff. You know I go. It's okay. I say because that's as close as they're going to get to every doing this is a videotape of me.

Speaker 2: 11:48

Okay, they're not going to do, because this is, I am soaked to my shorts with sweat working out and every shot is hard, multiple shots. So I'm just saying I'm like I do that for me. Can I throw two more shots? Can I throw? Can I do one more round? What does that look like? So, uh it, it. It's important, I think, for the, for the human psyche, to be able to do that. We have to test her and I'm not some neurotic nutcase, you know what I mean. That's always trying to just do more. Today, I mean, there's people like that, but it's just those, the subtleties of it. You know that understanding, there's so much more there and you can tap into yourself. You just want to pull that little bit more out.

Speaker 1: 12:29

I think that's where it's at, yeah, yeah, I get it Fantastic. And of course, then you're fitter and stronger, which is good for your health and your longevity and everything else. And you've also strengthened your relationship with your own spirit spirit, really, haven't you?

Speaker 2: 12:46

yeah, I think it's. I have a. I definitely have a warrior mentality. Okay, that's who I am. Remember one day I was getting done with the bag workout and there was this young kid on the on the treadmill. I turned he asked me are you training for a fight? Like I just think I'm gonna go, nope, just staying dangerous. And I walked away. He's was like oh, Like another kid, another young guy, I think he was 20. He asked me he goes, man, when was the last time you were in the ring? I looked at him and said before you were born. So that's these things. And I'm like that's what I want. I want that's part of it too. Right, there's a little ego in there, Catherine. There's a little ego that kind of yeah, I can still do this, it's good You're not frightened to mess with people's heads a little bit.

Speaker 2: 13:33

No, no, it brings me joy.

Speaker 1: 13:35

Well, it probably doesn't do them any harm either. Right, it's good there's a lot of people these days who just want to be nice. You know, at the cost, sometimes at the cost of just giving someone a little nudge, I think in the gym, because I've spent a lot of time in gyms myself as well. And there is that thing of okay in this space. It's okay for us to kind of front up to each other a little bit and just say, hey, you could just uh, you know how many pull-ups, yeah I call it.

Speaker 2: 14:07

I'm a big fan of negative reinforcement. Okay, so I thrive on negative. It's like it's a marine corps thing, like if you know anyone in the brains, they're negative reinforcement people they've been. You can talk, smack to each other, you can beat them, but you know what I mean. You're that lifts you up. Right, that's a very tiny percentage of people. So I owned a gym and I had boot camp style training. I had really unique programs. Welcome to negative reinforcement. Okay, we had little four-person squads and we would talk some smack. Okay, I literally had a three-foot riding crop, a horse riding crop that I trained with and I'm like smacking things and I'll correct people. You know, get your butt down. I mean I was. I walked around just calling people out. I mean it's a lot of fun. You know. They know for that 35 minutes we're going to have us a good time and it's you are going to do what you never thought you could do before.

Speaker 2: 14:57

Yes, you know and I love pulling that out of people business coaching as well it's the same thing You're going to do, what you never thought you could do, because no one's actually had the courage to push you and the confidence to do it. And that's what we all need. We all need that person who can just and for me again, don't be nice to me, like that's not going to help me grow. You know I like I'm a kindness over nice right grow. You know I like I'm a kindness over nice right there's a difference.

Speaker 2: 15:30

So I'm a kind person, I'm probably not a nice person, yeah right, but you don't start doing it.

Speaker 1: 15:32

If you just walk up to someone on the street, you're doing it in the context get on your face and start pushing.

Speaker 1: 15:38

Yeah, I do that with them exactly because I also get you don't have this kind of compulsive energy about you. You know, I think some people imagine that people who have this kind of uh relationship with you know, call it grit, call it assertiveness, call it whatever you want to call it. But I think some people imagine that those people are compulsive. You know that they're trying to work something out by being aggressive with themselves, but you don't come across like that. You come across as um quite chilled actually yeah, it's, it's control, right.

Speaker 2: 16:10

So you've, you know, I've spent whatever I have 35 years, you know boxing, hitting the bag, doing martial arts, business, growing, failing, succeeding. Eventually. You just got to be in control. You're just like I've been through everything, like what's the next thing? So, and? And a lot of people like you're saying katherine, a lot of people mix up well, you're just this aggressive guy who's got to fight. And no, I have skills, I'm in control and I'm a great dude. Hang off me, it's good, it's just like this, this is who I am. But if you go to that place you try to hurt my family or my, well, look, stand by. Okay, the warrior will be unleashed and it'll be the worst day you've ever had.

Speaker 1: 16:55

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 16:55

You know it's just how it is, but that I'm not. But I'm a nice guy. You know, like me I'm happy, I'm just on this, you know. So I think I think, from a grit standpoint to Catherine, you have to understand that the whole purpose of grit, the whole, you know, if you're in it it's you have a long, a long journey mindset. You understand there's no, there's no immediate gratification.

Speaker 2: 17:28

I think that's another thing you kind of have to grasp that we are a world obsessed with immediate gratification. I agree, you know people want to be discovered, not developed. Yeah Right, they just poof. I'm somebody, you're nobody. Okay, and if you're going to be someone, come check back in 10 years.

Speaker 2: 17:40

Yeah, you know when you put all this time in. So I think the grit aspect gives you a long journey mindset. You understand it's not tomorrow. You know you will get there and you'll get there in stages and you can look back every now and then and check you know what you've accomplished, but then turn right back and look forward again. So there's a lot of forward looking in a grit, someone with grit. And that because they can't, they cannot obsess on the past, like it's the old saying what have you done for me lately? That's part of grit. Like, how am I improving? What's the old saying what have you done for me lately? That's part of grit. Like, how am I improving? What's the little things I'm doing to make a difference?

Speaker 1: 18:15

yeah, yeah. And do you think that um following following this path and this approach that you follow, do you do you think that makes a difference to someone's capacity for um letting go of that desire for immediate gratification or letting go of that need for comfort?

Speaker 2: 18:37

Yeah, I think it does, because I think you realize if you truly have it or you're working on developing to be a more gritty person, to have greater perseverance, you have to put that stuff aside. You know, even something as simple as I hate the term dieting. Okay, you are denying yourself things. I'm going to deny myself the pie right now. I'm going to deny the sugar. I'm going to eat this food now because I have a result I'm looking to achieve and I can't get to it. This.

Speaker 2: 19:08

So there's a lot of self-sacrifice in this process. You have to give up things Like I can't remember if we were on or not, but people aren't willing to not spend, not by the shoes, right, you were saying let's not do that, let's not do that right now and I can be a little caveman-ish on this Like I don't need anything, like I could go with nothing. This, like I don't need anything, like I could go with nothing. My wife goes you can just live in a cave, you don't care. Like you don't care. Like, well, I have goals, I have things.

Speaker 2: 19:37

In my son actually my oldest is that way now too. His focus on achievement is absolutely. It inspires me what he wants to do in his focus and how he gets what he wants is like what well did you just? You impressed me. You know I'm really pleased with the way you've turned out. You know it's pretty amazing and I think I'm hoping it's from example, right, because more is caught than taught when you're raising kids, right? So they have to see what you do. You can tell them all these things and how they should be, but it's your actions. It's always about action, yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:11

Well, also, it sounds like you're doing what you're doing because it's what you want to do, not because it's something that someone told you you should be doing.

Speaker 2: 20:23

Yeah, I've never been really good at taking direction from people, so it's worked to my advantage. I had to. You know it was a little rough coming up. You know early school and all that.

Speaker 1: 20:31

You know, I wasn't.

Speaker 2: 20:32

I suffered then too. Okay, it's just a different kind of suffering, you know.

Speaker 1: 20:37

but yeah, so, but I you're talking about, obviously, yeah, yeah, right, right.

Speaker 2: 20:40

But I just I do make it work for me and I've seen people too on this same subject. I hit up one of my favorite clients ever that I had. He was a multi-billionaire, super successful guy, super ADD. You had three minutes to close the deal with this guy and we did this all the time. So I know I got it was Gary, gary, I got this, this, this. Okay, all right, let's do it. Well, let's not do it. Nah, I'm not going to do it, okay.

Speaker 2: 21:07

And then off he but. And then he would just come by and pick me up. He'd come to my shops hey, man, take me to some of your work. Him and his wife, jumping in a Mercedes, cruise around, show him stuff Okay, great, seeing you. And he drives off.

Speaker 2: 21:20

But a guy, but he mastered it. Right, I'm in one of the cars and he's on this. And then he's, he's got all these pairs of golf shoes, he's like, unloaded from his car. I'm like what's this? He's like oh, I designed them. I hit a mate, I'm giving them my clients. So he's designing golf shoes, of all things you know. I mean he owns professional sports teams and canvas business, all this stuff, and he's. But he's talking to Toyota and having designed special engines for his cars Cause he had like a hundred cars he collected all with 500 horsepower.

Speaker 2: 21:53

I mean he got it, but he's all over the place, but he mastered it. Yeah Right, it wasn't a, it wasn't a, it wasn't. It wasn't a disability, it was. He made it work, yeah, self-made. I really amazed. So I, just for that, you know, I think, is why him and I connected so well. Yeah, you know, because he understood like we were both always pushing, always improving. Yeah, you know. So it's. It's, you see, that in people, you see those little elements in people, and that's how we begin to connect with people, I think too, like-mindedness, you know beautiful.

Speaker 1: 22:25

Well, that illustrates exactly that thing we were talking about a few minutes ago, about you. You're not following the particular path because you're kind of driven to because of some sort of lack. You're doing it because it actually works for you, you love it, you're happy doing it, and I like to emphasize that because, particularly with themes like grit or perseverance, et cetera, people can assume that that is a contradiction to ideas like relaxation, peace, equanimity, all of all of those things. Well, actually, they're not a contradiction, they're just another aspect, aren't they, of being or being a full human.

Speaker 2: 23:07

Yeah, I think everyone has like, like, everyone has their own definition of something, right? So if we look at taking vacations peace, relaxation, coming up until I was probably in my early 30s yeah, just over 30, I never took vacations. I didn't believe in them, I just worked. My joy came from working. I'm building a business, I'm doing all this stuff. And then, friend, I got around different people and he invited me hey, man, I got a place in Cabo San Lucas, let's go down to Mexico, let's hang out for a week. Man, you need a break. I don't need a break, man, I don't do vacations. So he talked me into it. I went down there, so we're on the beach, Cause it's just, you know, fishing, sea, kayak and do. I'm like that's like day five. I'm like this is amazing. I've never, like, I've never, dialed down ever. And I was like so, really great.

Speaker 2: 24:03

Year. Second year, we went, I went this next year to lay back even more, and then, when it's time to check out, I was like I said I will leave, I go do it, lay back even more, and then it's time to check out. Like I said, really, I go, dude, I'm not leaving, I'm staying here, I'm just gonna stay here, I'm not leaving, he goes. Well, we'll check out late, I go, okay, but I don't, I still don't think I'm gonna leave, you know, and of course I left, but we definitely checked out late, but it was just that it took someone else who was very successful, right, and he showed me how, like is you just come and rest, like this is rest, like for him. You know, this is what we're doing, stuff and everything else I'm working out, and so that was just another level, right. So now, oh, I can be successful and I can have rest. You know, cause? He was a great example, because sometimes he would go on vacation and he'd be gone for like three weeks. He was supposed to be back in two weeks. Now I decided to stay down here, you know, because his business is running so well, right, I'm like, I like that, like that freedom, the freedom to say I can be here or there. That goes back to it too. What are we actually trying to achieve? So I'm also free to work a lot. So to me, that's very rewarding, so I like it.

Speaker 2: 25:12

I actually have to curve that, but my story was that way too. I was too much on one side and I had to balance things out, you know, because grit can also cause you to do dumb things, because you get very tunnel visioned and sometimes it's that that can be detrimental. So it's it's all about what's around you, the relationships you have, what you're actually trying to do. So you have to be careful with this. I don't have another word that except obsession. You're obsessed for that goal and you're going to push through in that time but, you still have to be able to widen the circle and see what's going on.

Speaker 2: 25:50

And it's not the balance work-life balance thing, because there there is that. It's a whole different topic, but it's understanding this grit, this perseverance. It can affect those around you in a negative way. So you still have to have the awareness. You need, that self-awareness, like what are you doing? Because to me, how I, that is okay. Well, that's part of the grit, that's why it may take longer, because I have to maintain these relationships. So I had to come to that realization, like I can't be an island, I can't be just the guy you know, which. I turned it into part of the challenge. Well, how do I do this, achieve this and still have children that love me, a wife that loves and respects me is there for me, who want to support me, who understand how can I affect them? So that just became part of the challenge.

Speaker 1: 26:46

I think I can resonate with that. I mean I've had moments in my life where I've had to actually pull on grit to actually make myself stop and just take a break and sometimes that takes more determination than it would do to carry on. I recognize that.

Speaker 2: 27:06

Yeah, sometimes I do that and I go okay, well, I stopped, now what am I going to do?

Speaker 2: 27:11

I was like I stopped doing that. Well, I stopped. Now what am I going to do? I was like I stopped doing that, but now I. So sometimes you get like it's a limbo, right. You like sit there, like okay, well, I guess I'll just watch TV, cause then I'm not working. And then you just kind of vegetate in front of a show and you're like, well, this wasn't very rewarding, you know. So I try to like, yeah, I have to go to something. You know, there has to be a specific thing that's different than what my main thing is, you know. So it can be a tough thing to navigate.

Speaker 1: 27:47

I think so too. I mean, there's an experience I remember discovering where that thing of you're hanging out on your own and you're sitting there thinking what am I going to do, what am I not going to do? And I've developed this practice of I'm not moving from here until my inner energy wants me to do something, and sometimes I'll just sit there for like half an hour, an hour, and like an hour has gone by, but then I find myself looking at something in the garden and it's very fulfilling because I've let go of all of the other stuff.

Speaker 2: 28:24

Yeah, I think it's refreshment, right, that's what that hour is, that's refreshing, and as part of my morning routine I have the same thing. It's just a time of quiet and dark and there's thoughts that come through and I do things like that, but then it's refreshment and you may get that during the day too. Just take this time to re-energize, recreate that's recreation, right. Recreate, so you want to recreate yourself. So when I learned about the vacation stuff that's what that was it was re -energizing. It was just step back, sitting, taking that time to just and not like you're fatigued, but mentally. There's a mental refreshment that you need more than the physical.

Speaker 1: 29:06

Absolutely In my case Absolutely. And sometimes the mental refreshment can then permit the body to also relax, can't it? Because sometimes the body's not relaxing because of the tension in the mind.

Speaker 2: 29:20

Yeah, I started with breathing exercises. I started to really get into how, to you know, I get done with a workout. I have an eight-minute post-workout recovery breathing exercise. I'm like, oh, this is amazing. And you start to learn what the breath can do right.

Speaker 2: 29:34

So we're in these high stress situations, I mean belly breathing alone. You breathe through your nose and your belly expands and your ribs, the diaphragm actually goes up and touches the heart, which slows the heart down. So you can be at this elevated state and just hold that breath and it causes it, literally touches it, and then the heart slows down. So that connection. So I think about that, stuff like this, and then you feel amazing, right, and you speed your recovery. So it's, it's part of the whole during the day. Same thing If you get a little, you know, take three minutes, you can do that kind of stuff which my younger self would have said you're just a nut, okay, like whatever, I'm just gonna worry, he's gonna push through, like you, just.

Speaker 2: 30:14

But now I'm like with age's wisdom, right, we don't get, we get a little bit, a little wiser, we find out things actually work, um, or some, you know, superstar, stud athlete, this doesn't okay. I guess it's okay for me to do it. Yeah, so I'll try it. So, but it works, right. But we start to learn these new methods so that we can continue in the game, so we can still participate. Yeah, right, maybe we're not what we were, but we're still in the game, yeah, so whatever can help me stay in the game is important.

Speaker 1: 30:43

Beautiful. I love that. I'd never thought of that thing, of that the diaphrag, the heart. Because it does, doesn't it? Yep, so that's amazing.

Speaker 2: 30:55

So you're just you're you're, uh, being kind to your heart after you've done your workout. I love that. Yeah, it's awesome. I love doing it. It's just I'll just sit there in the chair at the gym and the eyes are closed. I get a special breathing to get. I'm walking through it. Just I get up and off, I go out to my car and get in the car and go, you know.

Speaker 1: 31:11

So you're helping your clients with some of these notions we've been talking about. Are you working one-to-one or in groups, or how are you doing this?

Speaker 2: 31:21

Primarily, it's one-on-one with my established business owners. I do a one-on-one, which is very effective, but we also work with their teams. So a lot of times they we do a lot of systemization right, so we want people escape the owner. Prison is being you know you're serving your business. Your business doesn't serve you. You're trapped. If you don't open the door each day, the business doesn't happen. Well, that's not good, that's not gritty, that's foolishness. Okay, you, that's not gritty, that's foolishness. Okay, you haven't put together the thing. Okay, you can be gritty and some of that matters. So so you got to. So we come in and help them. But no owner has the bandwidth or mind space to systemize their entire business. So what I've done is I work with their team and I show them how to do it, empower them to get their lane complete Right, and then we do that with the whole business and we create freedom for the owner to work on what's called his 5% or her 5%, which is a 5% of the business only they can do.

Speaker 1: 32:20

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:21

That's vision growth, bringing in the big clients, right Things like that. So once they get the understanding, there's freedom in that. So they go from their 60, 70, 80 hours a week down to 20 yeah now you have freedom. Now you work on big things day to day. None of us like that.

Speaker 1: 32:41

Well, maybe some people do well, some people need to do that as part of their growth path right, and that's I want to hire them, okay, they, they come, do that for me, exactly Okay.

Speaker 2: 32:51

So there is that. But I'm saying but a founder, a visionary, someone, an entrepreneur, is going to be very vision focused, right, they have this idea that they want to create, which, again, grit's going to play a part in that, because that's a bumpy ride. But if you can do it correctly, if you can get the right help right, bring in the right coaches, bring in people who have outside eyes, who can see the things you can't, because you are so tunnel visioned, right, you need that. I didn't have that my first 20 years in business. I wouldn't accept that billionaire client I talked about.

Speaker 2: 33:24

He gave me unbelievable advice that I never took. What does he know? He doesn't build water features and I'm a, I'm the man I'm, I'm award when I'm, you know, just just an idiot. Okay, I'm just an idiot, all right. So I, you know, and he looked back and like he was right about everything you know. But I don't listen, right? So Look for people, been where you've gone, what you do, and that's what I do. I come on outside eyes and I can fix things that you have. You literally seen it on top. I go here, step off that. Let me take that. Oh, that fixed the whole problem. I go. You can't see it, you're too close.

Speaker 1: 34:01

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 34:01

Right, so that's uh. Yeah, that's so. That's what goal. Like that's where the joy comes from. When their wives contact me, say I never thought this was going to be possible. Like we just spent six days at the beach with all five of our kids he was never on the phone, wasn't checking in, we just had a great time I'm like that's all I want to hear. Yeah, that, that that's success to me. You like save the family. You literally save the family because you fix their business. Now they can balance their life. Now they can work on what I call the five Fs faith, family, finance, fitness and friendships. Now you can get balanced. But if your business is a hot mess, Catherine, you're never going to have balance because you're always going to be obsessed on that and that grit tied in with the obsession of making your business but not knowing how. That's a hamster wheel.

Speaker 1: 35:00

You never can get off of that Wonderful. Well, I'm very glad that you're doing that for all these people. I mean, if we think about the wider group of leaders, there's a lot of leaders in the world today. Today, there's a lot of interesting stuff going on in the world and everyone's got their own opinion about it and about what should be done and how people should be leading, and there's a lot of people who are trying to be leaders in their own lives really good leaders in their own lives and, um, some of these people are listening to our conversation right now. Is there anything you'd like to say to those leaders?

Speaker 2: 35:35

Yeah, I think the best leaders create more leaders. So you have to understand your job as a leader is to create more leaders, it's not to be the one, the only one, and you don't have to be out front all the time. You always see these things the good leaders out front. You know, a good leader can be out front and can be behind, and he can be in the middle of the of the battle. Right, they can be in all places, but they also create leadership. They handle those different levels with any kind of organization or situation. Right, really important.

Speaker 2: 36:14

So I think people get tied into leadership, catherine, like it's all on them daily. They're going to tell everybody what to do. That's horrible. That's going to drive you to the grave because you can't scale, you can't grow. Who are you actually helping? What you're doing is you're letting your ego drive. You're letting ambition be in the driver's seat. We always want ambition in the passenger seat. We want to drive. Ambition is a great passenger. It's a horrible leader. So you have to be able to balance those two things out as a good leader. So that would be the advice I give.

Speaker 1: 36:50

Beautiful. So good leaders create other good leaders. And, in relation to grit, do you have any insights into particular principles or approaches that great leaders should be using to create more leaders?

Speaker 2: 37:08

Yeah, you really have to. I'll put it a very simple way Every problem is an opportunity. If you can think about every problem, every bit of adversity is an opportunity. That's how you're going to develop more grit. So if you don't think you're gritty enough, or you think you've quit on some things, maybe you shouldn't quit on, but you're like how do I get better? Believe me, you're not born with it. You can develop it. It's just another muscle. So understand that problems develop it. It's just another muscle. So understand that problems, mistakes, failures are all opportunities. You don't beat yourself up with them. You address them as an opportunity to grow and improve and innovate and all the great things that can come from it.

Speaker 2: 37:56

Necessity is the mother of invention. Okay, well, that's a problem, right? Necess, necessity is a problem that gets solved and creates this whole new thing. So I think if you can have that mindset, you can increase your endurance, your perseverance, your ability to get through and achieve great things. Because you can't if I think all, I guess I can't say all leaders, but when you want to achieve great things, that's part of leadership or it's part of being a visionary. From an entrepreneur standpoint. We want to do something great with a business. We just don't want to sell ice cream on the corner. We want to have ice cream on all the corners. We want to have ice cream in all the corners. Okay, whatever, we want to do more. So we need that ability to push through, address those problems, those opportunities, innovate and continue to move forward towards the big goal, but understand how to get there.

Speaker 1: 38:53

Yeah, yeah, and presumably encourage that in your other leaders coming up Right Behind you, behind you. But I also heard what you said when you were talking about your whether it was your son or your sons about, um, the way they've come through and that your hope is that they've actually picked up on your example, and I'm sure they have. You know, I've. I've heard people say, well, I'm gonna have children when I finished growing and we've got everything sorted out, and I was like, well, then your children haven't got a very good example because they need a parent who is still growing. And I said, oh my God, I never thought of that. But do you mean you want them to see me going through my growing pains? Yeah, and that's what you've been doing, isn't it, with your kids.

Speaker 2: 39:40

Right, I want my children to see my wife and I have an argument and resolve it. We don't hide that. We go through it. We go through it, see the process and we resolve it. And 25 years later, oh look, we're still married. Isn't that amazing? And my kids now, as they're all in their teens, they have a 19,. Two 18s, two 17s and a 16. So they're all in that range now. Now I'm seeing the fruit of 16, 17, 19 years of example and failure and mistakes. See all that stuff. Right, but we work through it. So I'm seeing they're all productive, they're all working, they all have dreams and goals. They're all going to do great things in their own right Because I've set that. They see me go up and down and start a new business and struggle.

Speaker 2: 40:29

My wife came in when things were good. I didn't get married until I was 34. Then I'm a first child until 39. Okay, well, that's starting late, but that wasn't really intentional, that was because I was unable. It's a whole nother show. But you get to the point where like, okay, now I can do that. If I would have had kids in my 20s, I wouldn't have the children I have now. They'd be ruined. Okay, they'd be a burden on society. So it's a whole different thing, right? So now I'm very happy it all worked out just the way it should have for me. Some people are ready to go at different ages and everything else, but to see the fruit of the training, of the discipline, of the examples that we've had to lead, and overcoming all that, that's my legacy, if you will. People ask well, what's your legacy? It's not business. Yeah, I've done great things. I help people. It's what my children will do and what they will continue to do and then pass on to their children. So to me, that's my highest goal here on this earth.

Speaker 1: 41:29

Wow, it's very heartwarming to hear that. I love it. So where can people find you if they want to? Because I think obviously you've got a lot of wisdom, but I can imagine working with you. You must be such a catalytic and growthful experience. So where can people find you if they want to come and find out more?

Speaker 2: 41:50

So the best would go to sharpenthespearcoachingcom. There's a contact page there. You can book a call with me. I'd love to chat about if you have a business you're looking for help on that. You want to just explore what that could look like. That'd be awesome. You know what I'd love to do, catherine, for your audience. Yeah, let's give them a gift.

Speaker 2: 42:09

So I have my bestselling book Escape the Owner Prison, but I have it on audio and if you want the audio version for free, go to sharpeninspiritcoachingcom. Go to my contact page. Send me a one sentence email. Say Richard, saw you in Catherine's podcast, love the free copy of your audio book and poof, I'll send it to you.

Speaker 1: 42:29

Amazing. That's very, very generous. I will put that in the show notes in case people don't have to run off and find a pen right now Awesome, that is such a beautiful gift because I wanted to mention the book as well. So thank you for bringing that in at that point.

Speaker 2: 42:44

Just remember you have to listen to my voice for two and a half more hours, I think, on the audio book.

Speaker 1: 42:51

You have a great voice and you're just so relaxed. I love it. It's so good. So what has been? We've talked about a lot today. Has there been a favorite part of?

Speaker 2: 43:05

our conversation today. I think I think the favorite part was really talking about suffering, because I don't think I've ever gone into it in that kind of detail, to be honest with you, and I'm on a lot of podcasts and I've never no one's ever really pulled that out and really focused on it, and I think it was really good, a very good exercise for me, catherine. So you worked me out. You worked me out today. Okay, you gave me a good push here because-.

Speaker 1: 43:27

Well, Terry's done.

Speaker 2: 43:28

Yes, but it's good. I think people have a better understanding of it because I think you were right. When you say the word, it just instills fear and pain and all this stuff. They can't embrace it for what it truly does. So I think when we spend time on something because I truly believe words have meaning it matters what we say when we speak into people. The Bible says it's the power of life and death. In our tongue, Words matter. They matter very much, so I love doing that. So thank you for pulling that out of me.

Speaker 1: 44:02

My total pleasure. I've had so many times in my life when I've said something and people have understood it completely differently from how I meant it. So I have come to understand that sometimes we need to put a little bit more depth.

Speaker 2: 44:13

Yeah, they call that texting. Now, when you text, people guaranteed to have misinterpretation, right? So? I'm still a big fan of talking to people.

Speaker 1: 44:30

Which, when the predictive texter completely rewrites it, right, fantastic. And um, final thing, um, everyone's going to go off and do their week now and my next guest episode comes out in a week's time. In that week, is there like a reflection question that you would like to give people that they can take away? That will help them engage a little bit more deeply with our theme of grit.

Speaker 2: 44:52

Yeah, it's simple. Have I done a hard thing? Remember a hard thing? It doesn't mean necessarily physical. It certainly doesn't mean just physical. A hard thing, that thing that, like I used to do, was push things to the left of my desk. I'll get to that because I never wanted to do it and that actually caused the collapse of my first business. Ignoring those are hard things. Okay, it's a piece of paper. I got beat by a piece of paper. Okay, I could be in the ring and throw down for 10 rounds, but I can't. A piece of paper took me out because I ignored it. Okay, so the hard things are all relative, right. So that's what I'm talking about have I done a hard thing.

Speaker 1: 45:35

thank you, I'm going to take that on as well. I think that's a brilliant, really, really good one. Have I done a hard thing? Oh, oh God, richard, thank you, it's been such a pleasure and I hope we get to speak again. It's just been so wonderful. And have a brilliant day.

Speaker 2: 45:54

Thank you, love the conversation. It'll be awesome to be back again.

Speaker 1: 45:57

Excellent. Thank you for listening to Truth and Transcendence and thank you for supporting the show by rating, reviewing, subscribing, buying me a coffee and telling a friend. If you'd like to know more about my work, you can find out about Transformational Coaching, Pelawa and the Freedom of Spirit Workshop on beingspaceworld. Have a wonderful week and I'll see you next time.