Ep 169: Mastering the Balance of Flow and Control

Ever wondered how to seamlessly glide through life's unpredictable currents while keeping a firm hand on the tiller? Join Catherine Llewellyn in this episode of Truth and Transcendence as she unpacks the art of balancing flow and control, drawing on her rich experience with the 5Rhythms dance practice created by Gabrielle Roth. Catherine delves into the nuances of the first two rhythms—flowing and staccato—and how these principles can be applied to everyday situations, such as the delicate early stages of a new relationship. By the end of this episode, you’ll gain practical insights into being both receptive and clear, depending on life's demands.

Using personal anecdotes and engaging exercises, Catherine illustrates how you can practice these rhythms right at home, moving gracefully around furniture, pets, and people. Discover how moments of fluidity and decisiveness can harmonise to enhance your effectiveness and joy. Whether you’re eager to sign up for a 5Rhythms Dance class or simply looking to bring more balance into your daily routine, this episode offers valuable tips and heartfelt wisdom. Tune in to explore how intuitive shifts between flow and control can transform your life.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Truth and Transcendence brought to you by being Space with Catherine Llewellyn. Truth and Transcendence, episode 169. Today, I'd like to talk about flow and control. I think we've all heard about the importance of going with the flow, being able to flow with whatever's happening, and we all know the importance of being in control. But how on earth do we get the balance right? How on earth do we flow when we should be flowing? Control when we should be controlling. This was one of the things I loved about the five rhythms dance practice which I trained in back in 2005 through to 2010 with the incomparable Gabrielle Roth. 2010 with the incomparable Gabrielle Roth, who developed five rhythms dance back in the 60s, I believe.

Speaker 1: 1:16

The first two rhythms the first one is called flowing and the second one is called staccato and just moving with even just those two rhythms, without even moving on to the other three, is incredibly helpful if we want to practice being able to flow when we need to flow and being able to be in control when we need to be in control. So the flowing rhythm is all about being receptive and the staccato rhythm is all about being clear. So in life, when do we feel we need to be more flowing and going with the flow. Well, you could say, in the early stages of a new relationship is a great time to do that, because we're kind of finding out. We're sort of finding out how we feel. We're finding out how that other person resonates for us. We're finding out what it's like to be around them and we kind of flow with it to begin with. But then there comes a point where possibly some decisions need to be made or maybe some boundaries need to be put in place, and that's when we move into the staccato place, where we're saying things like yeah and no, where we're saying things like yeah and no, where we're starting to be a bit more specific about what we want, what we're happy with, what we're not happy with. Where are we going to live? Are we just going to stay living separately? Are we going to have children? Where are we going to send them to school? All of these specific things that need to be decided are actually part of the staccato rhythm, as taught in the five rhythms movement practice.

Speaker 1: 2:53

So how do we actually explore this in our lives and why is it important? So I think we can all look back in our lives and notice times when we've been particularly effective. I think we can all look back in our lives and notice times when we've been particularly effective, and it wouldn't surprise me if you look back at your life and consider this. It wouldn't surprise me if the times that you've been most effective are the times when you've moved fluidly between the flowing mode and the more in control mode, where you've somehow intuitively known which is the right one to be in at any point in time. And the times when perhaps you were less effective or less happy could be the times when you were just in flow all the time and never made any decisions at all and everything basically went out of control. Or you were just always trying to control everything, always trying to be really specific, and you kind of crushed the life out of things. I have experienced both of those. I've also experienced the other one, where I flow back and forth between the two modes in a happy, enjoyable, natural, organic fashion.

Speaker 1: 4:06

So how do we practice this in everyday life? Well, you could go and sign up for your local five rhythms dance class or workshop or do an online class, something like that, or you could literally practice it in your everyday life, and one way I love to do this and that I used to do when I was first learning this was you're at home and in your home you have furniture, you've got accessories and equipment and chairs and possibly other people dogs, cats If you just say to yourself, I'm just going to flow physically for the next 20 minutes. To flow physically for the next 20 minutes, let's say, and you just move around at a reasonably good pace, move around the house, travel everywhere around your house, round people, round tables, round other things, and you do it in a flowing way. So what that means is you're going step, step, step, step, step, step and even pace. You just keep moving, keep walking, keep moving, keep walking. And every time you come towards something you just flow round it. You just bring yourself flowing round and through and you flow through the doorways and flowing around, closing the door behind you, round the sofa, onto the sofa, off the sofa, up into the bedroom, maybe onto the bed, rolling off the bed, and you're just literally flowing all around the house. And if there are other people there, you just flow around them as well. They might want to join in.

Speaker 1: 5:49

It could be fun and notice at the end of 20 minutes how you feel, notice if you had resistance to that particular process or was it really easy for you? Did you love it? Did you hate it? And that tells you something about your relationship with flow, being able to flow. And the same thing with staccato, which is more about having clarity, control, boundaries, decisions. Same thing. So you're going to move around the house in straight lines, not flowing lines. So you walk in a straight line. When you get to a wall, you do a 90 degree turn and walk in a straight line from there, maybe another 90 degree turn, or it might be a 70 degree turn or a 80 degree turn, but it's straight lines and corners and straight lines and corners, and straight lines and corners and straight lines and corners, and maybe stopping and starting, and stopping and starting and straight lines and corners, and doing this for 20 minutes again and then noticing how do you feel? Was that easy, straightforward for you? Was it difficult? Did you feel stupid? Same as with the flowing one Did you feel stupid doing it? Did you judge yourself? And each of these will tell you something about your relationship with these two modes.

Speaker 1: 7:17

And then the next one you could play with if you want to be adventurous is five minutes flowing, five minutes staccato, five minutes flowing, five minutes staccato. If you want to play with it further, you might go back to the flowing one and, as well as flowing with your feet and moving around things, you might bring in your hips, your knees, your spine, your elbows, your shoulders, your head. So you're kind of doing a dance, a flowing dance Again, for 20 minutes. Dance a flowing dance Again for 20 minutes and then try the same thing with staccato, which is angular movements elbows, shoulders, knees, hips, shin, head, clear, specific movements, straight lines, corners, straight lines, corners and notice how you feel.

Speaker 1: 8:11

Now, most people, when they try this for the first time, feel a little bit awkward but uncomfortable, particularly if there are other people in the room laughing at them and pointing You're the one who is expanding your comfort zone. So those people laughing and pointing just need to get out more or maybe be a little bit more adventurous or kinder, possibly. So if this feels like a good exercise for you, maybe practice it every day for a week and then notice if there's any difference in your life in regard to flowing and clarity and control. You can expand this and progress it by when you're doing your work or when you're with friends, or when you're gardening or whatever it is you might be doing, actually saying to yourself I'm going to consciously be flowing in this interaction or I'm going to consciously be in control.

Speaker 1: 9:11

Clarity, straight lines, callers, decisions, yes, no, and let's play around with it, because we all have the capacity for both of these different modes. We all benefit from both of them. Most of us tend towards one of them more than the other at any point in time. You may find, looking back over your life, that there were certain periods of time in your life when you tended towards one of them and other periods when you tended towards another. Or you may find that for your entire life, you've been more flowing or more in control. Both of them are really important, part of our natural way of being and part of our way of negotiating our lives.

Speaker 1: 9:56

So have fun with that. I look forward to hearing how you get on those of you who choose to share with me, and thank you for listening and watching, and I look forward to seeing you next week. Thank you for listening to Truth and Transcendence. Thank you for listening to Truth and Transcendence and thank you for supporting the show by rating, reviewing, subscribing, buying me a coffee and telling a friend. If you'd like to know more about my work, you can find out about Transformational Coaching, pellewa and the Freedom of Spirit workshop on beingspaceworld. Have a wonderful week and I'll see you next time.